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Meet the Shaneyfelts

Meet the Shaneyfelts

My Thoughts on Adoption

Monday, September 9, 2019

Adoption is a beautiful thing. 



 It is a beautiful earthly picture of the Gospel–in which, dead in our sin with nothing in us able to ever bring us into a relationship with God, God adopted us into His family through the payment of His son, Jesus Christ’s, perfect and sinless blood.

And adoption is also a very hard thing.  

It’s born out of brokenness and hardship.  And when sin entered the world through the fall of man, the need for adoption entered the world, also.



There are so many times when I’m holding Harrison or just looking at him (or even a picture) and I think about how my life would have been if I had been in control of how our family was built.  We would have had a baby biologically many years ago and the idea of adoption never would have crossed my mind.  But God, who always knows best, in his infinite sovereignty saw that it was most glorifying to Him to build our family through adoption.  And I am so glad it happened that way!



I look at Harrison and so many times I can see traces of his birth mother or birth father in his face, and it’s a forever reminder of the precious gift they gave us.  It will never be lost on me that I became a mother because of the selfless choice of another.  My love for Harrison was immediate.  His birth mother took us to meet him in the NICU and once I looked into his bed and saw that tiny, 4 pound baby, I loved him more than I ever thought was imaginable.  It’s so crazy to think that now that he’s 6 months old, my love for him now is even more than it was then.



I also think that the struggle to even expand our family have given me a different perspective than those who easily plan out their families.  I cherish every moment with Harrison.  The sleepless nights, while difficult, weren’t something that made me complain about being exhausted because I never thought I would get to experience that exhaustion.  That’s a perspective that I always want to have.

Hear this–I’m not saying that adoption was our #2 choice or our Plan B, but it wasn’t something that ever crossed my mind until one day it did.  And once it did, I couldn’t stop thinking about adoption.  It’s like the Lord had planted a seed in my heart a year before we even started pursuing adoption (actually, during our 2nd IVF round) and once He did, adoption was all I could think about and all I could pray about was to ask God for clarity because I felt so conflicted.  And just because we’ve adopted, doesn’t mean that I still don’t grieve that my body couldn’t do what it was created to do.  I don’t think there’s anything wrong with grieving what I thought would always happen while still rejoicing that I have Harrison because I wouldn’t ever change that.



I also really love that our family isn’t made up of the same ethnicity.  Why should it be?  If Heaven is filled with believers of all ethnicities worshipping God, then why not let our earthly families reflect that?  

Our adoption was finalized on Wednesday, September 4th.  We had no idea it was happening that day (Texas law is weird), so I opened my email at lunch and read the email from the lawyer letting us know the judged signed the decree that morning.  Finalization not only means that we are done with social work visits and monthly paperwork, but also that Harrison’s birth certificate will be changed to have his name we gave him along with listing us as his parents.  While he always felt like a Shaneyfelt, it’s now official!



Terminology is something that’s really important that I never would have thought about had I not experienced it.  When referring to Harrison and adoption, don’t say that Harrison IS adopted because that implies that it’s currently happening and ongoing–say that he WAS adopted because it’s something that happened once and it’s done.  I don’t want Harrison to be defined by adoption until he gets old enough to make that decision himself.  For more thoughts on this, read Russell Moore’s book Adopted for Life because it helped me tremendously!


Okay, I know that was a lot of rambling and I wasn’t really sure where I was going with his post.  I was pretty open and honest about my feelings, so I pray that it’s able to help someone who reads this today!


Category: adoption11 Comments

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Andrea Nine says

    Monday, September 9, 2019 at 11:13 am

    You know I share these same thoughts. I’m glad you’re a fabulous voice for adoption, it truly is the most beautiful thing!

    Reply
  2. Kristin says

    Monday, September 9, 2019 at 11:16 am

    Aw, I think this is beautiful. Knowing that Harrison's birth mother was able to give you the kind of gift that would complete your family/life is amazing. She made the world better for so many people!

    Reply
  3. BLovedBoston says

    Monday, September 9, 2019 at 1:16 pm

    Such a beautifully written post! You, Dustin and Harrison are the most beautiful family!! So much love for you! I can absolutely attest to love continuing to grow – every single day, you end up loving this little human more than the day before! xo, Biana –BlovedBoston

    Reply
  4. Julie | This Main Line Life says

    Monday, September 9, 2019 at 2:57 pm

    He's so adorable. This is such a beautiful post.

    Reply
  5. Laura @ Laura Likes Design says

    Monday, September 9, 2019 at 3:09 pm

    Aww! Those itty bitty pics of Harrison have me making all the heart eyes!

    Reply
  6. Laci says

    Monday, September 9, 2019 at 3:17 pm

    Harrison updates and adoption are some of my favorite post! He is adorable!

    Reply
  7. a little bit of emily says

    Monday, September 9, 2019 at 3:18 pm

    The terminology is something I never would have thought of, but makes SO MUCH sense! And I love how it has changed your perception. I know that is something I will have too, in regards to both marriage and a baby!

    Reply
  8. Lindsay's Sweet World says

    Monday, September 9, 2019 at 3:53 pm

    Oh Sarah, what beautiful words. Harrison is so blessed to have you and Dustin and I know you feel even more blessed to have him. He is just perfect and I love seeing those sweet pictures of him pop up in my feed. He is just the most joyful little thing!

    Reply
  9. Tanya says

    Monday, September 9, 2019 at 3:53 pm

    I'm so happy for you and your sweet family!

    Reply
  10. Jordan L says

    Tuesday, September 10, 2019 at 1:35 am

    I love love love reading your blog and reading all of your post about Harrison.

    Reply
  11. Lea says

    Tuesday, September 10, 2019 at 3:52 pm

    Such a heartfelt post and I so appreciated it as our first granddaughter was adopted at birth. It was an experience I will never, ever forget. The selfless act of her birth Mom choosing our son and his wife to be the parents of her precious baby. BTW, our newest grandson was born on Aug. 20th and his name is Case Harrison. Love the name Harrison.

    Reply

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      • Friday Favorites!
      • Dustin's Tailgate Birthday Bash!
      • Summer Questions from The Blended Blog
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Salsa Chicken & Black Bean Enchiladas
      • August Goals
    • (+) July
      • A Saturday Full of the Great Outdoors and the Fine Arts
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Three Years of Marriage!
      • Happiest of Birthdays to My Wonderful Husband!
      • It's Monday, Already?!
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Croissant Breakfast Casserole
      • Friday Favorites: #NSale Edition!
      • Fall Fashion Inspiration
      • A Beginner's Guide to the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale 2017
      • Best Recipes
      • Day to Night in Black and Brown
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Random Thoughts on a Thursday
      • May and June 2017 Book Review!
      • Happy 4th of July!
    • (+) June
      • A Comfortable 4th of July Look
      • What's Up Wednesday--June 2017
      • Home Tour Tuesday: 2017 Update!
      • Friday Favorites
      • Three Things Survey!
      • My Current Wish List
      • Weekend Recap: Father's Day Edition!
      • Friday Favorites!
      • A Day in the Life (6.13.17)
      • Island Vibes in the Summertime
      • A (Non)Update on Whole30
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Sense of Sarah: My Summer Staples
      • Family Beach Vacay 2017
      • Whole30 Day 1 + My Why
      • Friday Favorites!
    • (+) May
      • What's Up Wednesday--May 2017
      • Two on Tuesday: Real Housewives of New York City
      • A Little Life Lately
      • My Favorite Homemade Flavored Water
      • Friday Favorites: Short and Sweet!
      • My Make Up Must Haves
      • My Favorite Fashion Bloggers
      • April 2017 Reads
      • Friday Favs!
      • May Goals!
      • Matilda Jane May Release!
    • (+) April
      • Friday Favorites!
      • What's Up Wednesday--April 2017
      • A Saturday Tour of Belle Chèvre Creamery
      • Friday Favorites!
      • The Best One Piece Swimsuits (and I want them all!)
      • Sense of Sarah: Reality TV
      • Friday Favorites!
      • #MeetTheShaneyfelts: Reception!!
      • #MeetTheShaneyfelts: Wedding Ceremony
      • Life Lately
      • Triple Berry Lime Smoothie (aka the best smoothie in the world!)
      • #MeetTheShaneyfelts: Pre-Ceremony
      • February and March 2017 Reads
      • April Goals
    • (+) March
      • Friday Favorites!
      • #MeetTheShaneyfelts: The Rehearsal Dinner
      • What's Up Wednesday--March 2017
      • #MeetTheShaneyfelts: The Proposal
      • Weekend Recap!
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Easter Dress Inspiration
      • Podcasts: To Listen or Not To Listen?
      • Week Happenings: A Little Life Lately
      • I'm Still Here!
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Sense of Sarah: My Favorite Self-Tanner + How to Use It
      • Chocolate Chip Cookie Cake Bar
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Balancing Work and Home Life
    • (+) February
      • March 2017 Goals
      • Friday Favorites!
      • What's Up Wednesday--February 2017
      • Weekend Happenings: President's Day
      • Friday Favorites!
      • A Guest Post With Emily: Creating a Healthy Lifestyle
      • All About Dustin!
      • Weekend Recap!
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Girl Chat: Valentine's Day Plans
      • Keeping Your Marriage Strong
      • Weekend Recap: Super Bowl Weekend!
      • Friday Favorites!
      • A Day in the Life (01.31.17)
      • Sense of Sarah: Concerts
    • (+) January
      • January 2017 Reads
      • Friday Favorites: Short and Sweet!
      • Update on Healthy Eating--January 2017
      • What's Up Wednesday--January 2017
      • Black Bean Enchiladas
      • Friday Favorites!
      • 24 Hours in Memphis
      • Weekend Recap!
      • Friday Favorites!!
      • Update on 2017 Goals
      • Benefits of Being a Morning Person
      • Snowy Weekend Recap!
      • Friday Favorites!
      • The Best Chili Ever!
      • 2017: New Year, New Goals
      • Happy New Year!
  • (+)2016
    • (+) December
      • Friday Favorites: Last One in 2016!
      • December 2016 Book Review
      • 2016 Year in Review
      • Weekend Recap: Christmas Edition!!
      • Friday Favorites + A Life Lately
      • Reasons Why I Love Christmas
      • Light Cheeseburger Pie
      • Weekend Recap!
      • Friday Favorites!!!
      • Day Nine: The True Meaning of Christmas
      • Day Eight: Our Christmas Card
      • Day Seven: Holiday Outfits
      • Day Six: Favorite Holiday Recipes
      • Day Five: What's In Your Bag Holiday Edition + Friday Favs
      • Day Four: Gift Guide for Your Bestie!
      • Day Three: Christmas 2016 Home Tour
      • Day Two: Christmas Traditions
      • Day One: My Christmas List
    • (+) November
      • November 2016 Reads
      • When Your Sister is a Photographer...
      • Weekend Recap: Thanksgiving Edition!
      • What's Up Wednesday--November 2016
      • Weekend Recap: Weekend Before Thanksgiving!
      • Friday Favorites!!
      • Sense of Sarah: My Nightly Routine
      • Decorating for Christmas: Inspiration
      • Weekend Recap: New Orleans 2016 Vacay!
      • Friday Favorites!
      • It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!
      • My Experience at Christmas Village 2016
      • Weekend Happenings!
      • Friday Favorites!
      • November Goals
    • (+) October
      • October 2016 Reads (on a Monday)
      • What's Up Wednesday--October 2016
      • The Night I Was Born...
      • Weekend Happenings: Birthday Party Edition
      • Friday Favorites!
      • The Scariest Moment in My Marriage
      • An Update on This Crazy Week
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Life Lately
      • Oreo Cream Pie
      • Weekend Recap!
      • October Currently
      • Link Love on a Wednesday!
      • Weekend Recap: Happy October!
    • (+) September
      • Friday Favorites: September Book Review & Such
      • Fall Favorites 2016: Fall Bucket List
      • When You Finish a Good Book....
      • Blogtember Challenge 2016: A Guest Post with Victoria Strader!
      • Friday Favorites!!
      • Fall Favorites 2016: Fall Decorations!
      • Matilda Jane Clothing + a New Sweater!
      • Cheesy Ranch & Bacon Bread
      • Blogtember Challenge 2016: My Most Popular Blog Posts
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Fall Favorites 2016: Fall Recipes!
      • Blogtember 2016: Three Books!
      • A Day in the Life (9.9.16)
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Fall Favorites 2016: Fall Fashion
      • Blogtember Challenger 2016: Five Things That Bring Me Joy!
      • Labor Day Weekend Happenings!
      • Happy Labor Day 2016!
      • Blogtember 2016: Currently...
      • Friday Favorites: First of September!
      • Fall Favorites 2016: Introductions!
    • (+) August
      • My Favorite Go-To Apps on My iPhone
      • Weekend Happenings: My Trip to the Southern Living 2016 Idea House
      • Friday Favorites!
      • BLT Pasta Salad (a healthy version)
      • Weekend Happenings!
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Sense of Sarah: My Journey to Find the Perfect Blue Jean
      • 16 Questions About Me
      • Weekend Happenings
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Back to School Fashion for Teachers
      • Oven Baked Rotel and Chicken Tacos
      • Weekend Recap!
      • Friday Favorites: End of Summer Edition!
      • July 2016 Reads
      • Weekend Recap!!
    • (+) July
      • "always remember there was nothing worth sharing/ like the love that let us share our name"
      • Show and Tell Tuesday + a Guest Post!
      • A Little Break
      • Peanut Butter and White Chocolate Chip Cookies
      • Friday Favorites!!
    • (+) June
      • Life Lately (6.30.16)
      • What's Up Wednesday--June 2016
      • June 2016 Reads
      • Weekend Recap!
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Advice for a First-Time Cruise
      • Cruise to the Bahamas: Part 2
      • Cruise to the Bahamas: Part 1
      • Weekend Recap: I'm Back!!!
      • Breakfast Burrito Recipe
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Thoughts on a Thursday--New Hair?
      • Super Easy Cinnamon Rolls
      • Sense of Sarah: What's In Your Bag?
      • Packing List for our Summer Vacation
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Thursday Confessions + May 2016 Reads
      • New Make Up Review: Primer and Bronzer
    • (+) May
      • Weekend Recap: Memorial Day 2016 Edition
      • Happy Memorial Day!
      • Friday Favorites: End of the School Year!
      • Weekend Recap!
      • Friday Favorites!!!
      • #wheredustinsleeps
      • Sense of Sarah: The Story of How We Met
      • Weekend Recap!
      • Friday Favorites!!!
      • Thursday Confessions
      • The Avett Brothers Concert Recap
      • Sense of Sarah: My Personal Style
      • Weekend Recap: Mother's Day Edition
      • 5 Tips for a Healthy, but Busy Lifestyle
      • The Beginning of a Fabulous Week!
      • Friday Night Secret Church 16
    • (+) April
      • Friday Favorites: DONE WITH GRAD SCHOOL FOREVER Edition!!!
      • April Reads!
      • Birthday Cake Bars
      • Weekend Recap: Weather Day Edition
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Oven Baked Refried Bean Tacos
      • A Day in the Life (4.18.16)
      • Weekend Recap: Party Edition!
      • Friday Favorites!!
      • Confessional Thursday (4.14.16)
      • WIWW: State Testing Edition
      • Mexican Pitas
      • Happy (Belated) National Sibling Day!
      • A HAPPY Friday!
      • Weekend Recap!
      • Friday Favorites!
    • (+) March
      • Confessional Thursday (3.31.16)
      • What's Up Wednesday--March 2016
      • March Reads
      • Easter 2016 Weekend Recap
      • Friday Favorites: Spring Break Edition!
      • Easter Dinner (Lunch) Plans
      • A Spring Break Day Trip
      • 11 Random Facts + Questions
      • Friday Favorites
      • Confessional Thursday
      • Sense of Sarah: My Favorite Morphe Brushes
      • Quinoa Fried "Rice"
      • Weekend Recap!
      • Friday Favorites--Pampered Chef Party!
      • Book Club Thursday--March 2016 Edition
      • House Tour Tuesday--March 2016
      • It's Monday...
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Porch Goals for the Spring
      • Three Ways My Husband Shows Me He Cares
    • (+) February
      • Weekend Recap!
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Sense of Sarah: Weight Battles + Diet Bet
      • What's Up Wednesday--February 2016
      • Weekend Recap: DNOW + Nashville Edition
      • Currently on a Thursday
      • Dining Room Inspiration from Pinterest
      • Four Things About Me!
      • Weekend Recap: Valentine's Edition!
      • Friday Favorites!
      • White Chocolate Strawberry Trifle
      • Weekend Recap!
      • Friday Favorite: Elementary Edition
      • Sense of Sarah: How I Plan Our Meals
      • House Tour Tuesday--February 2016
      • Weekend Recap!
    • (+) January
      • Friday Favorites!
      • What's Up Wednesday--January 2016
      • Chocolate Buttercream Icing Recipe
      • Weekend Recap: Blizzard 2016 Edition
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Quirks + a Giveaway!
      • Sense of Sarah: Working out When You're Busy
      • Cinnamon Apple Oatmeal (in the Crockpot!)
      • Weekend Recap!
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Book Club Thursday
      • Red Velvet Valentine Bars
      • Sense of Sarah: Cleaning
      • Friday Favorites!
      • A Day in the Life--January 5, 2016
      • Goals for 2016
  • (+)2015
    • (+) December
      • Favorite Posts of 2015
      • 2015: A Year in Review
      • Cookies and Cream Cupcakes
      • Weekend Recap: Christmas 2015 Edition
      • Merry Christmas!
      • When Your Friends Live Far Away...
      • Show and Tell Tuesday: The Best Gift
      • Green Chile Chicken Tacos
      • Weekend Recap!
      • Friday Favorites--Last Day of School THIS YEAR Edition!
      • Sense of Sarah: Favorite Blogs to Read
      • A Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookie!
      • A Week + End Recap: Celebration Edition
      • Am I the Only One Exhausted This Christmas Season?
      • A Christmas House Tour 2015
      • Sense of Sarah: Hair Products
      • November Reads!
      • House Tour Tuesday--December 2015 / Christmas Edition!!
    • (+) November
      • Thanksgiving Break in Pictures
      • What's Up Wednesday--November 2015
      • Sloppy Joe Casserole
      • Friday Favorites!
      • My House Tour--Upstairs Game Room, Bedroom 4, and Bath 3
      • October Reads
      • Friday Favorites!
      • My House Tour--Master Bedroom and Bath
      • A Weekend Recap in Pictures
      • Friday Favorites--A List of Gratefulness
      • House Tour Tuesday--November 2015
      • My House Tour--Bedrooms 2-3 and a Bathroom! (+ a little Weekend Recap)
    • (+) October
      • Friday Favorites!
      • What's Up Wednesday--October 2015
      • Weekend Recap--Birthday Edition!
      • My House Tour--Living, Dining, and Kitchen
      • Buffalo Chicken Quesadilla Recipe
      • A Little Weekend Recap + Blog Reveal!
      • So I Finally Have a Snapchat...
      • Fall Break Recap + Blog Reno
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Life Lately (this week)
      • House Tour Tuesday--October 2015
      • Weekend Recap!
      • Friday Favorites!
    • (+) September
      • What's Up Wednesday--September 2015
      • Pumpkin Muffins
      • Weekend Recap--Revive '15
      • Life Lately on a Thursday
      • Weekend Recap--last one for summer!
      • Friday Favorites--are back!!
      • The Blog-tember Challenge: Day 17
      • The Blog-tember Challenge: Day 16
      • The Blog-tember Challenge: Day 14 + Weekend Recap!
      • The Blog-tember Challenge: Day 11 + Friday Favorites
      • The Blog-tember Challenge: Day 10
      • The Blog-tember Challenge: Day 8
      • The Blog-tember Challenge: Day 7
      • The Blog-tember Challenge: Day 4
      • The 2015 Blog-tember Challenge: Days 1 and 2
      • House Tour Tuesday--September 2015
    • (+) August
      • Weekend Recap
      • Friday Favorites!
      • What's Up Wednesday--August 2015
      • The Alabama Shakes Concert!
      • Weekend Recap!
      • Friday Favorites!
      • The Guy Behind the Blog!
      • Weekend Recap
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Your Guide to Dressing for a Late Summer Wedding
      • A Thursday - Weekend Recap :)
      • House Tour Tuesday--August 2015
      • Weekend Recap!
    • (+) July
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Own It--July Linkup
      • What's Up Wednesday! (July 2015)
      • Our First Anniversary
      • When God Restores Your Hope
      • Strawberry Cake Cookies
      • A Surprise 30th Birthday!
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Eating in a Rooftop Restaurant That Spins (while being scared of heights)
      • Likes and Dislikes
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Just Checking In!
    • (+) June
      • Friday Favorites!
      • What's Up Wednesday (6.24.15)
      • A Day in the Life--June 22, 2015
      • Weekend Recap!
      • Friday Favorites! (6.19.15)
      • Friday Favorites (6.12.15)
      • Life Lately
      • Spending the Day in Tuscaloosa
      • Friday Favorites (6.5.15)
      • Pistachio Ice Cream Sandwiches/Bar (Healthy!!)
      • When Your College Football Coach's Daughter Gets Married...(and you have Instagram)
    • (+) May
      • Friday Favorites!
      • What's Up Wednesday
      • Weekend Recap (...on a Tuesday)
      • I'm Still Here :)
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Life Lately...
      • House Update 5.4.15
    • (+) April
      • What's Up Wednesday
      • My First Time to Cook Quinoa--a Recipe
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Life Lately
      • Weekend Recap
      • Friday Favorites!
      • What I Wore Wednesday: Easter Edition
      • Weekend Recap!
      • Friday Favorites!
    • (+) March
      • Our First Place
      • Friday Favorites!
      • Spring Box Exchange
      • Ladies Luncheon at Church
      • Life Lately
      • Friday Favorites
      • Weekend Recap
    • (+) February
      • Secret Church (and why it's important that you go)
      • A Healthy Tater Tot Casserole
      • Friday Favorites!
      • We're Building a House!!
      • Chicken and Refried Bean Burritos
      • Weekend Recap
      • Operation #GetFit2015
      • Five on Friday
    • (+) January
      • Five on Friday
      • A Healthy Chicken Pesto Stuffed Peppers
      • Six Months Down and Thousands More to Go
      • My Christmas Present from My Mom
      • Weekend Recap
      • Five on Friday
      • White Chocolate Strawberry Brownies
      • A Spin Class App (that I'm obsessed with)
      • Five on Friday
      • A Day in the Life--January 6, 2015
      • Gym Classes and Chocolate
      • Brain Dump
      • My Favorite Thing About 2014
  • (+)2014
    • (+) December
      • Five on Friday
      • Lacking Motivation?
      • Our Rehearsal Dinner
    • (+) November
      • Five on Friday
      • Christmas Gift Ideas
      • A Few Thanksgiving Recipes
      • My Weight Loss Journey
      • Super Healthy Peanut Butter Pie!
      • Five on Friday
      • Back to Back Weddings
    • (+) October
      • The Liz Hurley Ribbon Run 5k 2014
      • Lessons in Marriage
      • Five on Friday

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