Archives for September 2022

Happy Monday, y’all! I hope y’all had a less stressful weekend than we did watching Alabama play Texas on Saturday–it took a few years off my life and I had to listen to Dustin (and Harrison) yell at the tv haha!

It feels like it’s been forever since we announced our adoption of baby #2, so today’s post will be long just in case some new people are here since we went through the adoption process the first time. Make sure you stick around for the t-shirt info at the bottom!!

Why are we adopting again?

After Dustin and I had been married for a year exactly, we discussed when we were having children and we both decided to wait. Something like 6 weeks later, we randomly talked about it again and both had a change of heart haha! I assumed it would take a few months to get pregnant and I was totally fine with that because I still was in grad school and wouldn’t finish my master’s degree until the following May.

It turns out it was a lot more difficult than I thought.

Long story short, my gynecologist was proactive in getting me help and I am so thankful for that! After trying 6 months of unsuccessful trials of Clomid and Femara with her, she sent me to a fertility doctor. After a few IUIs and tests with him, I had a bad feeling one appointment and left telling Dustin I was not going back to see him and felt like we needed to find another doctor. This took me to my last fertility doctor in Birmingham and she was a Godsend! Our first appointment was so thorough with her and she wanted to do a blood test that if it came back in a certain range, it would most likely mean I had endometriosis–although you can’t officially diagnose that until you have surgery to find it.

Well, it came back in that range, so a surgery was scheduled quickly. It turned out that my endometriosis was so severe that she even had to call Dustin from the OR to ask permission to remove my appendix because the scar tissue had eaten it completely. It was really upsetting waking up finding out that on a scale of 1 to 4 of endometriosis, mine was the most severe at a 4. But it also weirdly gave me relief to admit that my periods were in fact, really terrible, and that I wasn’t just whining when I was so sick during the time of my period.

We met with her after I healed to discuss IVF and I remember her asking us how many children we wanted. Dustin said 2, but I said 3 :). She said her goal for me was to get me those children quickly because I needed a hysterectomy as quick as possible.

Once I started to take the fertility medicine in order to have an egg retrieval, I also realized that this wasn’t going to be as easy as I had thought it would be. My body didn’t respond the first round so they majorly upped my dosage of hormones. After that, I was at risk for ovarian torsion (your ovaries twisting…which is dangerous), so I had to take it easy and stay on bed rest after my egg retrievals–I ended up having 2.

My first embryo transfer was unsuccessful and we found that out on our anniversary–needless to say, I tried to put on a brave face and still go to dinner that night, but I ended up crying through dinner–not our happiest anniversary haha!

The second transfer was in December and we found out 2 days before Christmas that it was unsuccessful. It was during this process that I kept seeing all of these adoption stories pop up all over social media and the internet. I mean, ALL OVER. I would randomly be looking at a blog and read about some connection to adoption, or I would be scrolling on instagram and see an adoption story. It was at this point that I began to feel like adoption might be part of our story way sooner than we had planned. (We had discussed adoption vs fertility treatments but both felt led to fertility treatments first.). I joined Mix and Match Mama’s adoption Facebook group and started researching.

We still had one more embryo transfer to go through, so I had surgery the following January or February (I can’t remember?) to check on my endometriosis. It was really disheartening to learn that in less than a year, my endometriosis had come back in full force. So I had one more transfer and I WAS PREGNANT! I couldn’t believe it. We transferred two embryos and the nurse who called said my numbers were so strong and high that it had to be twins. I was so overjoyed that I deleted anything that had to do with adoption because in my heart I was like, “Okay God, now I’m pregnant, so I’m going this route right now, but thanks!”

When you go through IVF, you get to find out at 4 weeks if you’re pregnant. At week 9, I had miscarried and was scheduled to have a D&C. It was the saddest moment of my life going into surgery pregnant and waking up not pregnant.

A few month later, Dustin and I decided to start the adoption process. We began working on the paperwork in July. We were active by the end of September, and by November 2nd, we had been matched with a birth mom whose baby was due February 25th. She wanted a closed adoption (no contact), but my heart couldn’t handle her not knowing how important she was to us, so I sent her a note each Monday through our social worker.

On February 21, she changed her mind and decided to parent. We were beyond devastated. Dustin was worried about recouping the amount of money we had lost with her and I had already told my heart it was going to be months until we were matched again.

Well, God had other plans because on February 28th–literally one week exactly to the hour we got the bad news–we got pictures of a little boy who was born 12 hours earlier on February 27th. Our adoption specialist asked if we wanted to present our profile book to his birth parents and after stepping out on a leap of faith, we said YES!!! She told me they would have an answer the next day…a Friday.

That night I was eating popcorn for dinner since Dustin was in Birmingham watching high school basketball tournaments when our adoption specialist called me back and said WE HAD BEEN CHOSEN!!!! After probably asking her a million times if it was true and if the couple was going to change their minds–and with her reassuring me a million times, I rebooked our plane tickets to Texas and Dustin raced home for us to repack our suitcases and hop on a plane the next day to get to our baby…

When I look back at our story, I see God’s sovereignty and His hand all over it. Our experiences with infertility made me lean into the Lord like I never had to before. He was my strength, and my hope in Him was the only thing to get me out of bed on the hard days. Our struggle with infertility also brought Dustin and I together and strengthened our marriage. He was the one who took care of me, gave me all of my hundreds of shots, and held me when I cried. I learned to find joy in the waiting and to enjoy the times that were just Dustin and me. BUT infertility also brought me to my baby, Harrison, and I wouldn’t change that for anything. I don’t regret the hard parts or the waiting or the bad news and setbacks because ultimately, God knew that Harrison was our baby and He had ordained that before our days. God’s plans for our family weren’t the same as what mine were, but God’s plans are always better and I see that now.

We so strongly desire to give Harrison a sibling that he can grow up with and hopefully become great friends with–both Dustin and I have siblings and we cherish those relationships. But my body can’t do what it was created to do, and while that still weighs heavily on me even today, our desire is to grow our family through the gift of adoption. But we can’t do it alone.

We Are The Village T-shirts!!

We chose this t-shirt design because of the popular saying that it takes a village to raise a child. We also learned during Harrison’s adoption that it also takes a village to adopt–so many people prayed for us, donated financially, fed us, and bought baby gifts. We want those who help us to have ownership in our story and know that YOU are the village!!

If you’d like to buy one, email me at saraheshaneyfelt@gmail.com and I’ll let you know what to do.

Youth XS – Adult XL = $20 each

Adult 2X-3X = $23 each

How else can you support us?

First, please be praying for us. A few things we need prayer for are continuing to trust in God during this process. It’s easy to doubt and worry. We also need prayer for funding that God would provide ways–donations, grants, and access to low interest loans. Please pray for the woman who will end up choosing us. I pray for her heart to be at peace with her decision now and forever. Please also pray for her health and our future baby’s health.

You can also donate to our adoption account!

Venmo: @DustinShaneyfelt

Paypal: @DustinShaneyfelt (please select friends and family!)

Adoption Update!

We are home study approved and our profile book is complete. I submitted both of those a month ago to our adoption agency and they sent me a list of a few extra things they are requiring this time. I just completed and sent in Part 1 and am over halfway done with Part 2–I haven’t had as much free time with school starting back and with an active 3 year old LOL! I cannot wait to announce when we are active and ready to match!!