Meet the Shaneyfelts

Archives for June 2022

What’s Up Wednesday (June 2022)

Wow! It’s been a LONG TIME since I’ve done a What’s Up Wednesday post, so I’m excited that I actually remembered to participate LOL! And usually by the end of the month when I’m working on one of these posts, I feel like the month has flown by. But this month, I feel like I have savored every single day 🙂

1. What we’re eating this week

Okay, I’m embarrassed to say that meal planning has slacked off BIG TIME this month. I started strong maybe the first two weeks of summer, but after that…..it’s a day by day kind of thing. I hate it, but some days it’s too hot to even think about cooking.

2. What I’m reminiscing about:

Harrison as a baby :). He loves to watch videos of himself when he was either a baby or a one year old, so even today during lunch, I was showing him videos of himself doing funny things.

The cutest baby!!!

3. What I’m loving:

The freedom of a summer schedule. I love that I’m waking up at 5:30 and able to drink a cup of coffee and do my quiet time (most times) before Harrison is up. During the school year, I’m up at 5 unless Dustin is working and then I’m up at 4:30 in order to get everything done before I wake H at 6.

4. What we’ve been up to:

LOTS of outside time and lots of that outside time being spent watching the construction workers behind our house.

Lots of random outfits worn by all of us.

A sweet Father’s Day spent together. **I also want to note that we went to watch Top Gun: Maverick and I asked Dustin to grow a mustache like Rooster, and he delivered…. 🙂

Our 3rd visit to the dentist, but the first time he actually let them work in his mouth. I was so proud of him and kept encouraging him the entire time. The hygienist was awesome with him, too, and she made it so fun for him!

5. What I’m dreading:

I have a 4 day workshop to attend in July and I’m dreading spending the whole day sitting inside a building. That’s always the hardest part about being in school on pretty days–I long to get outside!

6. What I’m working on:

I’m working on hitting 10,000 steps every day and I’d say for the most part, I’m hitting it maybe 65-70% of the time. On days Dustin works, I have to wait until he gets home at night to go walk, and some days, I want to just spend time together just the three of us, so those are usually the days I don’t hit 10k.

7. What I’m excited about:

Adding a new baby to our family! We’ve started really talking to Harrison about a new baby joining our family and he doesn’t get it at all. (If you’re confused, read this post about our announcement!). We were talking with our social worker Sunday and I mentioned how right now, Harrison thinks this is the only way to add a baby to a family and that this is his normal. But I’m thinking some of it may have clicked yesterday when I started asking him all of the things he wanted to teach his new baby brother or sister, and he said things like about dinosaurs, trains, airplanes and helicopters….all of the things he’s obsessed with!

And if you feel led to donate to our adoption fund: (we are so grateful to anyone who is able to donate! Adoption is incredibly expensive)

PayPal: If you would like to give to our adoption account  using PayPal, after you choose the “Send Money” option, enter in this email address: dshaneyfelt@gmail.com (or @DustinShaneyfelt) and click Next.  Make sure you choose the “Friends and Family” option on the following page so there aren’t any fees associated with your donation.

Venmo: If you would like to give to our adoption account on Venmo, send to @DustinShaneyfelt or dshaneyfelt@gmail.com (Both of these are set up to our adoption account)

8. What I’m watching/reading:

Well, I’ve been watching some Christmas movies already :).

And I started reading The Hotel Nantucket and I am liking it so far!!!

9. What I’m listening to:

Nothing really special–some podcasts and then music when Harrison and I are in the car together. He loves asking for “Al’s Song” (You Can Call Me Al by Paul Simon) or Golden by Harry Styles.

10. What I’m wearing:

I’m basically dressed for Sunday like this…

I sized up to a large in this for chest coverage. And this new design has pockets!!

Or I’m dressed like this the rest of the week…

Both the tank and shorts run true to size.

11. What I’m doing this weekend:

Probably getting ready for the 4th and getting all of my grocery shopping done for what I’m cooking :). I also want to try another cookie recipe from Organically Addison.

12. What I’m looking forward to next month:

Dustin’s birthday and our anniversary is both next month!

13. Favorite Amazon find of the month:

I had gotten an Amazon gift card from a student at the end of the school year, so I decided to buy this tinted lip balm that I had read about in a magazine. The verdict: I LOVE IT! I’ve worn it when I’ve just put tinted sunscreen on my face and then I’ve worn it to church with full makeup. I got the color “Fruit Punch” and it’s not so overwhelming.

Lots of love,

Sarah

Saturday Favorites!

Happy Saturday, y’all! I know this is usually a Friday post, but I didn’t get my act together on Thursday to create a post for Friday, so here I am Saturday morning with a post 🙂

ONE

Janie and I went to The Gospel Coalition Women’s Conference last week and here we are on our last morning–pictured are two exhausted moms of toddlers who enjoyed their first nights away from their babies, but were excited to drive back home to see their babies (and husbands!) ha! We sat under excellent teaching on salvation stories from the Old Testament, and I had some really great breakout sessions that I attended.

TWO

I made this buffalo chicken pasta from Organically Addison and IT WAS WONDERFUL!! I used my Banza pasta noodles (gluten free and high in protein), a rotisserie chicken (to make it easy), and then I drizzled some Bolthouse Ranch over mine to cut the spice. Next time I’m going to add less buffalo sauce for me and Harrison and then Dustin can just add more to his plate.

THREE

I had some birthday money saved from two years ago and decided to finally spend some of it on a new nap dress. I have one for the winter that I wore in our Christmas card picture, but I really wanted one for the hot months. This one even has pockets, now!

FOUR

I also wrote a post this past week on language surrounding adoption. When I wrote it, I had no idea SCOTUS would be reversing Roe v Wade. Since I hope more conversations are had surrounding adoption (and how you can take actions to help), please be aware of the language used and how it impacts.

FIVE

I read two books this month so far–which is great for me these days! Both were really great!

I like Christina Lauren as an author, so I was excited to read the latest release. This one was fun and also gave me a twist that I did not predict! It deals with a treasure hunt and the American West.

LOTS of thoughts on Book Lovers. I had heard great reviews about it, so I was excited when my local library had it in. But the book is also REALLY LONG. I struggled the first 150 pages or so. I just felt like it was moving so slowly and those pages really could have been condensed. Then finally things picked up and I stayed up way past my bedtime reading to finish the book. I really liked how it turned out, and the only reason why I kept reading was because one of the characters was so likable that I had to make sure what I wanted to happen did happen haha!

Why It’s Important to Talk About Adoption the Right Way

This was definitely not the blog post I had planned today–I was planning on recapping my trip to a women’s conference in Indianapolis, but this feels more important to me.

I feel like adoption is becoming more and more common in America, yet the language surrounding adoption conversations is still so backward that I feel like it does more harm than good. For those of you who are new to my blog, we adopted Harrison in 2019. (If you want to read more, scroll down on my blog and on the right under categories, click on adoption.). Because adoption wasn’t something that was openly talked about growing up, I had no idea about the language surrounding adoption until we started to look into adoption for ourselves and I started reading anything and everything adoption related. And once I became a mother who adopted her son, I found this to be EXTREMELY important–especially if I want Harrison to know (and feel) how valued and loved he is.

Here’s why I’m talking about all of this:

We went out to eat Sunday after church for Father’s Day. We were sat at the bar and two older ladies sat down beside us. They asked how old he was and then one lady asked a very insensitive question that shocked me so much. For one, I’m so glad Harrison had no idea what she was asking, but I also realize that won’t last for long. I want to do everything to protect him.

I understand that Harrison looks nothing like me and Dustin. He’s Hispanic and his race is something that we celebrate and praise God for because in our differences, we get to witness God’s creativity in his creation. (And I actually have two books that I recommend for reading that discuss this: God Made Me and You and God’s Very Good Idea and even if you do not have a transracial family, this is something so important to read to your kids–or husband– to teach how beautiful God’s creation is!!!). But I forget that Harrison looks different than us because I just see my baby whom I love so much.

So here are a few things I want to remind everyone because when you really think about it, we’re all made in the image of God–which means we are image bearers–and so we should ALL be treated with respect and love….and that includes the way we approach and talk to people.

-if you ask an appropriate question about the adoption, remember to refer to it in the PAST TENSE. It happened once and is in the past. For example, we ADOPTED Harrison when he was born, not that Harrison IS adopted.

-don’t refer to the birth mom as the “real” mom if you ask a question (which you really shouldn’t because you want to respect the child’s story). I can’t tell you the amount of people who have said something about Harrison’s “real” mom and I quickly reminded them that I am Harrison’s real mom, but the correct term is birth mom. (or real parents = birth parents)

-one of the frequent questions we get is “Why did Harrison’s birth mom give him up?” I’m sure if people really stopped to think about what they just said and how it would make Harrison feel by hearing it, they would rephrase it. But I think the term “GIVE UP” is so normalized in societies where adoption isn’t talked about that people think it’s the right term. His birth mom didn’t give him up, she PLACED him for adoption. Do you see how that changes the connotation from negative to positive?

-don’t ask personal questions about the child’s story. I am open to answering questions about the adoption process, but when it comes to Harrison’s story, I want to protect that as much as I can until he’s old enough to decide if he wants to share it or not, but it’s his choice.

-I know people mean well, but it’s also not really nice to say things like “Harrison is so lucky to have y’all as his parents” because actually we are the lucky ones (and remember that adoption begins with brokenness) or “You know what’s going to happen, now you’re going to get pregnant!” I actually had someone say that to me and it made it sound like getting pregnant was the goal and not only did I feel like that could have been hurtful if Harrison heard and understood, but it also hurt me because I still grieve over what my body cannot do. I ended up making the person who made that comment feel uncomfortable for saying that 🙂

Moral of the story: Words are important. They can build up or they can tear down. I try to show grace to people and remember to love my neighbor as myself (Mark 12:31), but I’m also human and can get my feelings hurt or can get mad if I feel like my child has been offended. Before you say something, please educate yourself on correct language or just don’t say anything at all.

And since we’re in the process to adopt baby #2, you can donate to our adoption fund if you feel led! Here’s how you can help:

PayPal: If you would like to give to our adoption account  using PayPal, after you choose the “Send Money” option, enter in this email address: dshaneyfelt@gmail.com (or @DustinShaneyfelt) and click Next.  Make sure you choose the “Friends and Family” option on the following page so there aren’t any fees associated with your donation.

Venmo: If you would like to give to our adoption account on Venmo, send to @DustinShaneyfelt or dshaneyfelt@gmail.com (Both of these are set up to our adoption account)

We have our first home study visit set up for this weekend, and I’ll be glad to get that checked off the list 🙂

If you read this long, thank you! I know I rambled and there is so much more to say on this topic, but it’s been on my mind since Sunday and I really feel like more people need to be educated on it.