Merritt

Wow, where to start. Merritt has been the biggest shock and surprise, and right now as you’re reading this, Merrit turned one week old yesterday and I still can’t believe she’s ours! This post is going to be super long and mainly written for my memories. You can also read Harrison’s story and Banks’s story!

Once we found out about Merritt and that her due date was March 23rd, I kept thinking, “I hope I make it to that date!” I don’t know why I thought this, but my entire pregnancy, I just assumed she would probably come before her due date.

I went to my 36 week appointment when I was 36w4d and I declined my cervix check because I had heard that it can sometimes bring about labor, and I had a funeral to attend that week and Harrison’s 5th birthday party on the day I hit 37 weeks. I was not taking any chances!

At 37w4d, my doctor checked me and I was 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. I thought, “Wow! This may move quicker than I was expecting”–especially since my sister wasn’t even dilated when her water broke with my nephew back in November.

At 38w2d, he checked and I was 2cm dilated and he said 50-70% effaced. This was on Monday, March 11. My feet and legs were so swollen that my doctor talked to me about staying home and staying off my feet, but I was bound and determined to keep working. I woke up Wednesday, March 13th and just felt so off. My feet and legs were so swollen by the time I even got to school that my skin felt like it would burst open. Plus my sciatic nerve and lower back were killing me. That ended up being my last day of work so I could go home and rest. I seriously thought that meant Merritt would be coming soon.

At 39w4d, I went back to the doctor thinking I had progressed so much that I made Dustin take our bags with us in the truck because I was certain that he would be sending us straight to the hospital. Turns out, I was STILL 2cm dilated and 80% effaced. I was so disappointed because at this point, I was really miserable with how I was feeling. My doctor was only comfortable in letting me go to 41 weeks, and I was fine with that. He also stripped my membranes at this appointment, so I felt like I would definitely be having her within 48 hours. I just really wanted my body to go into labor on its own and was hoping that would do the trick.

At 40w2d, the nurses were so shocked that I was back at the doctor at that point. My doctor checked and said I was at 3cm and 80% effaced. He also stripped my membranes AGAIN and this time, it hurt LOL. We also went ahead and scheduled my induction date for Thursday, March 28 because my doctor was on call that day, and at that point, I didn’t want to stretch it any farther.

Now something to know about me and this pregnancy–I really wanted to go into labor on my own and I also made it a semi-goal to give birth naturally. I say semi because if it got too unbearable, I was totally fine with having an epidural, but I just didn’t want to have Pitocin given to me–I wanted my body to do it’s thing.

Also at this point, I was out walking (but not walking the curb because the pressure was too much that it was painful) trying to get myself to go into labor. I had used the evening primrose oil capsules a few times, too. Oh, and the nurse called me about my induction date and had to move it back to Friday, March 29th because the 28th schedule was full with high blood pressure cases and gestational diabetes. I was really hoping that I went into labor beforehand because I also wanted to be home on Easter.

Wednesday, March 27th started out as a rough day. Banks woke up at 3:42AM screaming and because Dustin was leaving for work shortly after 4AM, it was on me to try and get Banks back to sleep. If I weren’t pregnant, then I would lay him on me to go back to sleep. But I couldn’t do this, so I tried to position myself in the bed on my side (I had been sleeping propped up using a ton of pillows at this point because it hurt to sleep on my side) with extra pillows so I could put him right beside me and rub his back. At 5AM, he finally fell asleep and then I could not go back to sleep myself. At the time I felt like I was finally drifting off, Harrison ran into my room to wake me up at 6 and in turn, woke up Banks too :). I was TIRED!

My mom came over at 8:30AM to help me out and about 9AM, I laid down to take a little nap. I also prayed before I went to sleep asking God to help me trust in His timing with Merritt’s arrival and to forgive me for the control I had tried to take over it. I woke up at 11AM, used the bathroom and that’s when my water broke. It felt like bubbles popping going down, and at first, I wasn’t even sure it was my water breaking because there wasn’t a gush. I stood up and there was a little trickle, so that’s when I went outside to tell my mom. She freaks out (I was so calm), and I went to call Dustin–who just replied “on my way” and then hung up. I debated about washing my hair at this point, but felt like it would take too long to dry and straighten my hair, so I just showered normal and put on make up 🙂 LOL

As soon as Dustin got home (30 minutes later), we hit the road!!! The hospital I had to deliver at is normally about 35ish minutes away, and once we hit the interstate, we hadn’t gone maybe 5 miles before we hit traffic at a stand still. Dustin put on his hazard lights and got in the shoulder to take the next exit. He drove extremely fast (he was very proud of his Nascar driving skills) and it ended up taking us 45 minutes to get to the hospital. It was a painful ride for me because my contractions picked up in intensity and my water started gushing out–so not very pleasant 🙂

Once we got to the hospital, he ran in to have someone grab me a wheelchair and got me to the 2nd floor in order to check in. After Dustin had paperwork to fill out (I could not believe it since I pre-registered), they had me wait in a waiting room until they took me back to another room to get settled and to check and make sure my water actually did break and to check my cervix. The positive on that test popped up immediately and I was still at 3cm. Then I had to wait on a nurse to come and get me to take me back to L&D. During that time (which felt like an eternity to me…but it was really maybe just an hour or less?), my contractions really picked up in intensity and each contraction made me break out in a sweat. I would tell Dustin to fan me and then tell him to stop. He tried to rub my hair and I told him to stop haha! It was also at this point that I told Dustin that I definitely wanted an epidural.

My nurses came to get me to take me to L&D and they checked my cervix right away and I was already at 6cm! As soon as my labs came back, they got the anesthesiologist to come and give me my epidural–and he looked just like a kid I used to teach. Merritt’s heart rate bottomed out maybe 5 minutes after my epidural kicked in and the nurses ran in to get me to lay from side to side in order to get her heart rate back up. That didn’t work so I had to get on all fours in the bed to see if that would work. It did, so they brought me a special pillow and I stayed like that for 30 minutes. After those 30 minutes, her heart rate was stable so I went back on my left side to rest. I had maybe an hour of relief with my epidural where Mom brought the boys to the hospital so I could visit with them and then my dad came back to my room to visit. He was there maybe 5 minutes before I told him he had to go–that I needed them to check me again because I felt like I had to squeeze my entire body each contraction to keep from pushing. This was also right after shift change so I had a new nurse. She checked and I wasn’t quite to 10 cm but Merritt’s head was literally right there. Without going into too much detail, I started pushing even though I wasn’t fully 10cm, so they had to make it work. My body was progressing so quickly on its own (without Pitocin!!).

The nurses and doctor who helped me deliver were the best cheerleaders encouraging me each and every push. One thing I noticed was that in between each contraction, the room was completely silent. It wasn’t something I requested but I really appreciated that. When I’m in pain, I do not want to talk or have anyone talk to me, so it was really nice to have the silence. And I never listen to music when I run–I prefer the silence or a podcast.

I pushed for almost an hour and at 8:48PM, Merrit Elizabeth Anne Shaneyfelt was born! It was the most surreal experience ever. They placed Merritt on my chest, Dustin cut the cord, and we got to have an hour of skin to skin before they took her and got her stats. She weighed 8lb even and was 20.5 inches long!

I asked Dustin to share some thoughts on this, so below is what he wrote!

Going through pregnancy is something Sarah and I used to long for prior to adopting our boys but had never got to experience. It was a complete shock to me when Sarah shared the news with me as I came home from work one evening back in August 2023. Let’s be honest, it was so hard to wrap my brain around the fact that we were pregnant after trying everything in years past only to be told it would be almost impossible to conceive on our own doing. We had endured so much in such a relatively short time of marriage to finally be able to find out we had become pregnant on our own doing….just blows my mind. **Side note: You can read my post on going gluten free here!

I didn’t know what to expect going through a pregnancy alongside Sarah. This pregnancy seemed to fly by at Mach 8 speed. I knew that we know how to raise kids…..we just didn’t know how to have(birth) kids. It was a complete shock at first with all the testing/scans/appointments Sarah had to go through. It was very interesting to see all the technology and science involved in caring for pregnant mothers.

My only thoughts and concerns I had during this pregnancy was first, I wanted both Sarah and the baby to go through this process healthy and without any serious concerns. Second, I sure didn’t want the baby to get all of my genes in reference to my birth weight(10lb 5 oz) or my head size ( I tend to have a rather large tater on my shoulders….I like to think it houses more brains). Last, I didn’t want to be that dad whom had to help his wife deliver their child in a car enroute to the hospital. Each of these were all concerns I had, yet I realize I am not the one in charge of those things as God in in total control and has blessed us with each of our 3 children.

The day of Merritt’s birth started out for me like any other work day. I was up and out of the house by 4:15ish AM. The day started out fairly normal (even though Sarah was past the due date and I was aware things could change in an instance). The company I work for doesn’t allow for employees to have cellular devices on them at any times while on the process floor(top secret technology in the products we make). With that being said, I keep my phone in my lunch box within our designated break room. I had literally just walked into the break room at 11AM for our lunch break and retrieved my phone. I had obtained a soda out of the cooler and was just about to scan and purchase it when Sarah called. She stated her water had broke and I was out of there in a flash. I was calling supervisors after I had made it to the truck and was driving down the road. I didn’t think to take the time to inform anyone, my only goal was making it home ASAP.

After arriving home and loading our bags into my truck, we left in a bit of a hurry. As stated previously in Sarahs story, we ran into a traffic jam and that’s when NASCAR Shaneyfelt kicked in . I put the “Heavy Chevy” in high gear with flashers on and hammered down on the skinny pedal!!! I knew the backroads fairly well as my family lived out that way. Only problem was it was 2 lane roads and really out of the way instead of the straight shot 4 lane interstate we intended to take. My only thought process was to get to the hospital as quickly as possible. Again, neither of us had ever went through pregnancy to this stage before and I was unaware how much time I had after the water broke until ‘Active’ labor begins. I can recall speeding at high rates of speed to try to get to the hospital quicker, although I was under control and felt I was operating the “Heavy Chevy” safely. I tended to pass when I shouldn’t have and use the median and/ or middle turn lanes as normal travel lanes. I just knew that this old boy didn’t sign up to be the doctor on that day and wasn’t intending on having to deliver Merritt inside my truck on the side of some random 2 lane road. I will say that a majority of the people that I came up on with my flashers on, pulled over or got out of the way. However, in any situation, there are always those that are on their own Sunday stroll. My best advice after going though this …..get over into the right lane if you ever see someone with flashers on in a hurry. I managed to safely get us to the hospital, albeit after some close calls . I whipped in on 2 wheels and literally parked within 3 feet of the hospital door (almost like I was the only one there with any medical needs). I obtained a wheelchair and got Sarah to the second floor where Labor and Delivery is located. The hospitality guy at the front was super nice , yet his only concern was that I move my truck from out front. Later as he was still adamant of me moving my truck, I politely asked him which tow lot should I call to get it retrieved from because it wasn’t priority on my mind to move my truck while my wife is in active labor. After all had settled and the time seemed to pass ever so slowly. we finally got settled into the Labor and Delivery room. I did find the time to move my truck into a parking space and obtain our bags . Soon thereafter, we welcomed our sweet bundle of joy to this world!!!

One funny story from this experience was our food situation. Neither Sarah nor I had eaten from the time we left our house headed toward the hospital. I didn’t want to leave her side to try to get some food in fear of missing the birth as well as I wanted to be by Sarahs side through her pain. So giving that Merritt didn’t enter the world until 8:48pm, most eateries around were closed or soon closing, and it was already a good 9:45-10pm before we ever started thinking of food. Our only option was DoorDash. We were able to secure an order to Wendy’s. Lets just say that was the best $50 burger that I have probably ever eaten in my life, yet half our order never made it to us!

Thanks for reading as we relive our memories of the day that we forever became the Shaneyfelt party of 5!!