please answer the survey at the bottom of this post!!! thank you!
A couple years ago at school, all teachers led their homerooms in choosing a word for the year This was right after we returned to school in 2017 after Christmas break.
A couple years ago at school, all teachers led their homerooms in choosing a word for the year This was right after we returned to school in 2017 after Christmas break.
To back it up a bit, in September of 2015 Dustin and I started trying for a baby. Then all of 2016 brought 6+ months on Femara and Clomid, a move to a fertility specialist, not feeling comfortable with that doctor, a move to a new fertility specialist, surgery, and a diagnosis of endometriosis. Whew.
I was excited about choosing a word for the new year, so I chose JOY for 2017. I wanted it to be a reminder to me that my joy was to be found in Christ alone–not in a pregnancy or a baby or my husband. God was so gracious to me that year because even though it was a hard year, I found lots of joy.
Then 2017 ended with another failed IVF round, so my word for 2018 was HOPE. I chose hope because even in spite of the bleakness that the end of 2017 saw, I was so hopeful that God would bring us a baby. He has placed such a strong desire for children on both of our hearts, that I just knew God would provide. I believed so much that He would.
Well, I went through a period of time in 2018 where I had no hope. And then I was extremely hopeful. So 2018 was a rollercoaster of emotions, and you can read about that here.
All of that to bring me to my word for this year…
TRUST.
In just examining my life not only last year but the last few years, I keep coming back to trust because I’ve had/still sometimes have a hard time trusting God and His plan for Dustin and me. In my sinful flesh, I try to grab onto anything that I can to have some sort of control over. While IVF was very hard, in a way I felt like I had a little bit of control–I controlled what I ate/drank, my exercise, the timing of my shots, etc.
And then we entered the world of adoption, and let me tell you, I had ZERO CONTROL. None.
My faith in God’s goodness, His omniscience, and His sovereignty has really lacked for the end of 2018. And I get so mad at myself because I see that I am worse than the Israelites. Previously, whenever I would read a passage in the Old Testament that dealt with God’s provision and the complaining Israelites, I would think, “Why in the world do they doubt God?! They saw Him part the Red Sea, lead them with a pillar of fire, and make bread rain down from the sky!!” But I am the same. I’ve seen so many instances of where God has been so faithful to me and yet I don’t trust. I doubt.
So for 2019 (and God-willing, forever), my word is TRUST and I want to trust Him because I know that God loves me more than I could ever imagine and He wants what’s best for me. And what’s best for me is to be more like Christ, so I pray that I live by faith a life that glorifies God.
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.”
Isaiah 26:3-4
“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”
Hebrews 11:1
If you choose a word for the year, what did you choose?