Meet the Shaneyfelts

adoption

Baby Shaneyfelt #2!

This post is a little late since we’ve already announced on Facebook and IG, but this blog serves as a scrapbook for me and I need to update it with our happy news!

I am thrilled to be able to type this happy news–WE ARE ADOPTING AGAIN!!!!!!! Being Harrison’s mother has been the greatest joy in my life. I have always dreamed of being a mother and having children. When we went through IVF, I remember our doctor asking us how many children we wanted to have and we both said 3! I think siblings are such a gift to one another and we are both so excited for Harrison to become a big brother. We both feel that adoption is how the Lord wants us to grow our family, and while I never pictured this as a little girl when I dreamed about being a mother, I could never picture it differently now. Adoption is a beautiful picture of the Gospel and our family is a picture of Heaven. (If you want to read about our journey to Harrison, click here)

Holding up the new baby’s outfit!

I will occasionally being posting updates on our progress like I did last time. We are currently working on our home study and I am about to get started on our profile book. A profile book is required by the agency and they use it to show prospective birth moms about your family. I am using the same girl who made ours last time and she did a wonderful job–it was so beautiful!!

I had Harrison open this present as his last present at his birthday party. Everyone was confused at first until I said, “We’re adopting!” haha!!

Just like last time, adoption is incredibly expensive. And let me be real with you for a moment– I honestly wish that it weren’t that way–that after we jump through all the hoops that a home study requires (fingerprinting, background checks, drug tests, deep dives into financials, references, etc), adoption was more affordable for people who just want to be parents. And because we both desire deeply to have a second baby, adoption is our pathway to building our family. Sometimes I do get a little sad that Dustin and I can’t just say we’re going to have a baby and then end up pregnant, but my body won’t allow it. However, I would never for once trade the pain and suffering I endured to become Harrison’s mother, for he is my greatest joy 🙂 He is (and was!) so wanted by me (and his Daddy) that I would never wish for my pathway to motherhood to look any different. That was a tangent I didn’t plan on, but my blog is my heart 🙂

How to Help Us!

There are two ways you can help us become parents:

  1. Pray for us in that we are obedient to the Lord. Pray for the woman who will choose us to parent her baby–pray that we are able to share the Gospel with her, and that she can see Christ in us. Pray for her heart, her health, and the baby’s health that he or she is growing on schedule and getting medical care.
  2. You can also give to us financially to help us fund our adoption.

PayPal: If you would like to give to our adoption account  using PayPal, after you choose the “Send Money” option, enter in this email address: dshaneyfelt@gmail.com (or @DustinShaneyfelt) and click Next.  Make sure you choose the “Friends and Family” option on the following page so there aren’t any fees associated with your donation.

Venmo: If you would like to give to our adoption account on Venmo, send to @DustinShaneyfelt or dshaneyfelt@gmail.com (Both of these are set up to our adoption account)

If you don’t use either of those, you can always mail it to us and email me for our address!

National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month (and also the month where many churches celebrate orphan Sunday). I never knew November was Adoption Month until adoption directly affected my life.

If you’ve followed my blog for a while, you are familiar with why Dustin and I were led to adopt. If not, here are a few blog posts to get you caught up: Our Path to Adoption and My Thoughts on Adoption.

I understand completely that not everyone is called to adopt. Adoption is costly. Our adoption into God’s family was costly–the price was Jesus’s blood. There are so many ways that you can be part of a family’s adoption:

1. You can pray.

I know our family was covered in prayer during our adoption process. Never underestimate the power of prayer. There are so many things you can pray for during an entire adoption process–pray for the expectant mother and her heart, the waiting family and their hearts, the social workers, the health of the baby, finances to made available either through a loan or donations, ease of anxiety or worry, ICPC to happen quickly, etc.

2. You can provide meals.

I was incredibly grateful that our ABF (Sunday School class) organized meals for us once we got home from Texas. Harrison was already three weeks old, so I felt silly accepting them at first–especially since it’s not like I was recovering physically from childbirth–but I quickly learned how much we needed those meals prepared for us. Dustin went back to work as soon as we got home to Alabama so I was exhausted from getting up to feed Harrison every 3 hours. The last thing I wanted to worry about was cooking food, so meals are a wonderful thing to do for a family who has just adopted!

3. You can donate baby items.

Many families who adopt may not choose to have a baby shower until they come home or they may not choose to have one at all. Items such as baby bathtubs, pack and plays, clothing, blankets, etc. are great to donate so these families–who are already spending money on adoption fees–do not have to worry about having all of these items before baby comes home (or during ICPC).

4. You can donate financially (or support a fundraiser).

This is an extremely important way to help those who are adopting. I can’t tell you how appreciative I was when people either donated to us directly or supported one of our fundraisers. It really meant so much. The Lord provided so much to us along the way, and then when it came time for Harrison, He provided a quick way to borrow money from Dustin’s 401K while we were still in Texas. Our adoption agency was so kind to wait on our money to get transferred instead of requiring us to pay it by their stated deadline. None of that was possible without the people who selflessly gave to our adoption fund!

Our pastor said Sunday during his sermon that our church has 22 children who were adopted. How amazing and wonderful that Harrison will grow up in a church where adoption is supported and normalized by the church! If you feel the Lord leading your family to adopt–whether domestically like we did, internationally, or through the foster care system–please feel free to email with any questions! I won’t answer questions about Harrison’s story because that’s his to tell someday if he chooses, but I’ll answer anything else 🙂

Adoption Q&A

Last weekend I asked for questions regarding adoption, so I’m answering those today!  I really didn’t know a lot about the process before we started and I have learned SO MUCH since experiencing it.



1.Best part? Easiest? Hardest?
The best part is having Harrison!  I don’t know if there’s an easy part to adoption.  It’s all pretty difficult…from the paperwork, money, decisions, etc.  The hardest part was waiting and feeling like you were at the mercy of someone else waiting on them to pick you.


2. What made you choose domestic over international?
Lots of prayer, but we really wanted a newborn baby.  We knew domestic would allow that, so that was our only criteria.  We were open to any race.


3. Would you adopt again?
Yes!!!  Although probably not in the same way since it was extremely expensive.  I say all this knowing that God is in control of how our family is built, but I desperately desire to give Harrison a sibling (or two!).


4. What is your relationship like with the birth mom now?
Very good!  We were blessed with an amazing birth family.  Dustin and I were so nervous to meet Harrison’s birth parents the day we got to the hospital, but our conversations with them were so easy and flowed so well that we knew we’d be friends forever.


5. How did you pay for the cost of the adoption?
Once we decided to adopt, this was something Dustin was the most nervous about because adoption is EXPENSIVE.  Our goal was to fundraise $35,000 and at one point, someone close to us was skeptical of our adoption goal because they thought it was excessive–I’m not sure if they thought we were going to picket the money????  But $35k was not our max budget for the adoption, it was our fundraising goal because we felt we could swing the rest of the cost with our savings.

God blessed us with some really amazing people who gave sacrificially to our adoption.  Sometimes we would get money from people we hadn’t talked to in forever!  Then we had a few fundraisers (t-shirt sales, bbq plates, mini photo sessions, yard sale) and those were pretty successful.  I applied for multiple grants and we received 3 small ones (we didn’t really qualify for many grants, unfortunately).  And then we ended up taking out a loan for the rest of what we owed.


6. Scriptures to pray regarding adoption
Praying Scripture was the only thing that kept me sane some of the time.  The one Scripture that I repeated constantly (and even kept on an index card in my purse) was Isaiah 26: 3-4 “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trust in you.  Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.”  I needed to rest in the truth of keeping my focus on God and not myself or our situation because I worried and stressed at times.


7. When the first failed match happened, you mentioned losing money.  Can you explain that?
When you adopt domestically, some of the cost is paying for the birth mother’s (or family) rent, utilities, groceries, cell phone bill, maternity clothing, etc.  The federal government views that as a gift, so if a match fails, that money can’t be given back because it’s a gift.  You also lose any money paid toward lawyer fees, paperwork fees, agency fees, etc.  We lost a good bit of money when the first birth mom changed her mind, and while it was hard in the moment, if she didn’t, then we wouldn’t have Harrison.


8. How long did you wait for the home study to be approved?
A week or two max?  Once we mailed off our home study, it didn’t take long at all–but it felt like forever when you’re ready to be active haha!


9. How were you able to share photos immediately?  Most I’ve seen have to wait until finalized.
I’ve learned that each state is different with its adoption laws (and I really think it’d be nice to have one federal adoption law).  Since we follow Texas law even though we’re in Alabama (since that’s where Harrison was born), Texas law allowed us to share pictures as soon as his birth parents signed away their parental rights.  In Texas, that’s allowed 48 hours (or 72…I can’t remember??) after the baby is born.  In Harrison’s situation, we got to him when he was 4 days old so we were able to share pictures immediately.


10. Do we go with private agency or state-based?  Or foster to adopt?
I think that all depends on your budget and your availability.  I would suggest talking with people who have adopted from different outlets to see what would fit your family best.


11. What was the most unexpected part of the adoption process?
I’ve mentioned this before, but I was so ready for us to be considered “active” which meant that we would see profiles of birth mothers and say yes or no to showing them our profile book.  I was pretty naive and didn’t think about the hardships and tragedy that brought upon adoption.  I remember getting the first emails and opening them while sitting at the kitchen table, reading them, and then crying because of the situation of why these women were choosing adoption.  That prompted me to not only pray over our yes or no for each situation, but to also pray for all birth mothers of cases we read because their lives were hard.